With increasing demands on our time and purse strings, it’s easy for the holidays to shift from the carefree, joyful period we experienced as children to stress-filled weeks of commitments, frayed emotions, and strained finances. Christmas gift-giving, in particular, has grown from a tradition of thoughtful gestures and tokens of our affection to a multibillion-dollar industry that pressures us to spend beyond our means.
Tom Hodgson, director at Consumer Debt Counselors, a nonprofit offering financial services, said consumer debt has increased to unprecedented levels, particularly credit card debt.
“We now have the highest level of consumer debt that we’ve ever had, and it just eclipsed $1.2 trillion in the United States,” he told The Epoch Times.
The holidays, in particular, are times when financial stress is amplified as people travel to see loved ones, host holiday gatherings, and hit the shops to buy gifts. But since many people already have more items than their homes can hold, maybe it’s time to revisit our modern habit of gifting.
“Owning less has improved my life in almost every imaginable way,” Joshua Becker told The Epoch Times in an email. “We simply do not understand how much of a burden our possessions have become until we begin to remove them.”
Becker is a minimalist, an author, and the founder of Becoming Minimalist. He said he believes people have been socially conditioned to embrace consumerism during the holiday season. On average, American adults will spend $1,000 this time of year—even though nearly half of us live paycheck to paycheck and 56 percent cannot cover a $1,000 emergency.
The pressure to give gifts is rooted in human nature and cultural expectations, Becker said. Of course, we also give gifts as a heartfelt gesture of affection.
“Let’s not overlook this giving of gifts as an expression of thoughtfulness and love and respect,” he said. “The problem comes in when we think of giving gifts only in terms of physical possessions or weighing their significance by how much money was spent.”
Giving the Gift of Time and Attention
Rather than buying people gifts they don’t need with money we don’t have, or teaching our children that our highest affections are expressed through expensive gifts, it may be time to consider an old approach to the holidays.Before consumer spending reached its current pace, people had far less disposable income and far more time. They had less distraction and more interaction. Returning to these qualities may be the key to a happier, healthier holiday season. Becker suggested we make connections with each other, share experiences, and seek meaning in the season.
“When we build our holidays around those three things, we begin to recognize buying things is just a cheap substitute,” he said. “Spend time with the family and friends you love. Focus on the meaning of the holiday, whatever that means for you—even if it’s not faith, you can still find a deeper meaning than consumerism.
“And for experiences, create memories for yourself and others. None of these require things to be bought. In a world full of distraction, your attention to the things that matter most is the greatest gift of all.”
For inspiration, here are some things you can do for or with loved ones this holiday season—gifts that offer your time, presence, and good intentions.
Show Your Face: If you have a friend or family member who is ill or unable to come to holiday functions, plan a video call to talk to that person when you are all together. Each person present can take a moment to say hello so those absent can still be part of the festivities.
Lighten the Load: If you have friends or family with young children, consider offering to do some housework. Doing a few loads of laundry, washing some dishes, or bringing a home-cooked meal can make a world of difference to overwhelmed parents. This kind gesture allows you to visit while reducing their load and allowing them time to relax.
Christmas Cheer: Invite friends over to decorate the Christmas tree. Have everyone bring something to eat and share so it’s a low-stress evening to relax and connect.
Festive Activities: Take kids for a winter walk with hot cocoa or on an evening drive to see Christmas lights in your neighborhood. Spending time together is far more valuable for everyone involved than spending money on expensive gifts.
Movie Night: Have a Christmas-themed movie night for adults, kids, or both. Prepare with warm blankets, snacks, and some cozy Christmas jammies, and settle in for a night of movie goodness.
Holiday Treats: Spend an afternoon making Christmas cookies with a friend or relative. This is one way to spend some quality time, get creative, and have cookies you can give as gifts—or eat yourself!
Count the Days: Make a Christmas countdown calendar with experiences instead of candy or toys. Create a slip of paper for every day and write a different experience on each, such as sledding, ice skating, playing a board game, or spending the afternoon at a favorite playground.
Outdoor Fun: If you live somewhere with snow, spend an afternoon making a snowman with your family, dressing it in holiday attire. You can use photos of your creation for Christmas cards to send to family and friends.
Helping Others: Volunteer at a church or shelter with a friend or family member over the holidays, or give to a charity in someone’s name to embody the holiday spirit of giving.
DIY Coupons: Create a homemade book of coupons offering things such as a homemade meal, an evening of babysitting, or a trip out for lunch. Coupons can even include pet sitting or plant watering for the next time the recipient goes out of town.
Music Memories: Create a music playlist of all the songs you know the recipient loves or music that has meaning to both of you.
Lend a Hand: If you have an elderly friend or relative, that person may appreciate you coming over to fix things that are broken, shovel snow, rake leaves, do a bit of house cleaning, or make a home-cooked meal. You get to spend quality time together while making someone’s life a little easier.
Highlight Your Connection: Make a calendar with photos or quotes that are meaningful to the recipient. Several online tools can help you create one at minimal cost. You can also create a photo album of memories you have shared throughout your relationship or jot down fond memories on separate pieces of paper and put them into a box to give.
Use Your Creative Skills: Make a Christmas card using a personal photograph, drawing, or other image you’ve created and send it to family and friends with a note telling them how much they mean to you. Include fond memories and schedule a regular time to talk on the phone or video chat. This thoughtful gift shows your appreciation while helping you reconnect.
Give Experiences: Spend time with the recipient doing something enjoyable, such as having lunch, going to the museum, hiking in the woods, or taking an afternoon drive.
Make Something: Use your hobbies to turn pastimes into gifts. Knit scarves or mittens, make a scrapbook, paint or frame a photograph you took, or write a poem or short story inspired by the recipient.
Regift: If you have something you know someone on your list will love, give it to that person—making it the gift that keeps on giving.
Teach or Help: Show a friend how to knit, how to bake something delicious, or how to use that app that has been difficult to figure out. Alternatively, help him or her with difficult tasks such as moving, doing yard work, or organizing for a garage sale. While these activities are not always fun, they are much more enjoyable with a friend.
