Beyond top schools or expensive after-school programs, a mother’s loving connection might be the most influential investment in a child’s future.

A recent longitudinal study published in American Psychologist uncovered the science behind one of life’s most powerful forces: A mother’s affection during a child’s first decade shapes personality traits that drive lifelong success.

Maternal Affection Boosts Certain Personality Traits

Unlike fixed traits such as IQ, personality traits are relatively malleable, making them an important target for interventions—especially during childhood. How parents raise their children is a major factor in shaping their personality.

In the study, researchers followed more than 2,000 UK-based twins from birth to adulthood and found that higher maternal affection was linked to higher openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness at age 18.

These traits are tied to positive life outcomes.

The study used the “Big Five” to assess different personality traits, dividing them into five main dimensions:

• Neuroticism: Emotional instability or sensitivity to stress


• Extraversion: Sociability, assertiveness, and enthusiasm


• Openness: Curiosity, imagination, and willingness to experience new things


• Agreeableness: Compassion, cooperation, and trust in others


• Conscientiousness: Self-discipline, responsibility, and goal-oriented behavior

Researchers found that the links between affectionate parenting and traits like openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness held up even when accounting for childhood maltreatment, early emotional and behavioral problems, and the presence of strong family support later in life—suggesting that early affection has lasting effects, even when later relationships improve.

However, their study didn’t find a strong connection between how affectionate mothers were and how outgoing or anxious their children were. These traits appear to be shaped more by genetics or other environmental factors.

Extensive research also links personality traits to long-term life outcomes.

A 2024 meta-analysis found that authoritative parenting was positively associated with openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and extraversion, while authoritarian parenting was linked to higher neuroticism. Authoritative parenting combines support with clear limits, fostering independence, while authoritarian parenting tends to be strict and emotionally distant.

Another 2018 French study found that conscientiousness was the strongest predictor of academic success—and helped explain how students with low motivation still performed well, likely because they stayed on task despite dips in drive. Other findings show that people with low conscientiousness tend to have poorer health and shorter life expectancy.

Studies also suggest that all Big Five personality traits, except neuroticism, are tied to resilience—the ability to adapt well and recover after stressful or difficult experiences. Resilience, in turn, is tied to positive outcomes like academic achievement, successful aging, and longevity.

In contrast, neuroticism is tied to negative life outcomes like occupational failure and marital dissatisfaction.

The current study only focused on mothers because it used data from the Environmental Risk Longitudinal Twin Study, which collected parenting measures only from mothers. The researchers noted this as a limitation, explaining that father involvement and other aspects of parenting weren’t assessed in a way that allowed for twin-specific analysis.

The Impact of Maternal Affection

What does affectionate mothering look like in everyday life? According to experts, it’s about consistent expressions of love and positive engagement—such as listening attentively, showing warmth through words and actions, taking genuine interest in a child’s world, and speaking about them with kindness and pride.

“Finding genuine ways to show your child you love and enjoy them, you are interested in them, you care about who they are is paramount to how their personality develops,” Melissa Schwartz, a parenting coach specializing in highly sensitive families, told The Epoch Times.

“Every child will require something different from the parent. One may respond well to direct instructions, while another needs more choice and creativity,” said Alexis Adams, a licensed therapist and parenting expert.

Different Children, Different Needs

Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach—and as the study shows, parents may respond differently to each child, even among identical twins in the same home. “This often has less to do with favoritism and more with a child’s innate temperament,” said Schwartz.

While affectionate parenting is clearly beneficial, how it is expressed may need to differ based on the child’s temperament, sensitivities, and individual needs.

“In my experience, there is a pretty basic reason that parents treat children differently, even twins… not because a parent loves one child more than the other, but because usually, one child is ‘easier’ than the other,” Schwartz said. “Easy” children are generally calm and easy to soothe. They also tend to follow routines and readily adjust to changes, including new experiences and environments.

Meanwhile, Schwartz noted that sensitive or intense children tend to need more from their caregivers and may be more impacted by how affection is expressed.

Practical Ways to Increase Maternal Affection

For parents concerned about past interactions, experts offer reassurance: it’s never too late to enhance your affectionate parenting style.

“There’s no such thing as a perfect parent,” Adams said. “Everyone messes up something sometimes… the point isn’t to get it all right, but to do your best, be open, and keep learning.”

When parents make mistakes, acknowledging them can actually strengthen the parent-child bond. “Repair after difficult experiences actually builds resilience and trust,” Schwartz added.

Reflecting on the study’s findings and her experience working with highly sensitive families, Schwartz offers a few practical tips for moms who want to be more mindful about how they treat their kids:

• Use positive language: How parents describe their child, even when the child isn’t present, strongly shapes the relationship.


• Model the traits you want your child to embody: Children learn from what they see us live, not what we tell them.


• Adapt to your child’s unique temperament: Tuning into what overwhelms your child, what lights them up, and what they innately need is paramount to helping them thrive.


• Be consistent: Consistent affection and understanding over time contribute significantly to personality development.


• Acknowledge mistakes: No parent is perfect. When you’ve been less kind or more reactive, simply acknowledge it. Doing so allows the relationship to reset and teaches your child it’s OK to make mistakes.


• Start small: Consistent, positive interactions contribute to your child’s personality. Making small, positive shifts is more sustainable than sweeping revisions.

Parenting is challenging and requires deliberate attention and self-awareness. The reality is that parents also change and evolve alongside their children—a process rooted not in perfection, but in connection and reflection.

While ambitious parents may focus on prestigious schools and enrichment activities, the simple act of consistent maternal affection might be the most powerful gift they can offer.