How many people go through a large portion of their lives and then realize they were just getting by?
It’s not that they didn’t have dreams or wishes for how things would turn out, but somehow they never got around to living those dreams. Coasting through life, they ended up getting by without ever really engaging. They were caught up in keeping their head above water, surviving rather than thriving.
I’ve always been obsessed with squeezing the most out of my life, so this was never a problem I thought I'd have. The desire to live a full life, however, isn’t enough on its own.
Distractions Get in the Way
What keeps people from truly living isn’t the lack of a plan or the will to achieve it, or even the circumstances around them—it’s almost always distraction.
Distraction is a sword with two edges. It’s anything that keeps us from doing the thing we’d ultimately like to be doing. Sometimes we’re distracted by short-term pleasures. We can also be distracted by our inner struggles.
What’s the antidote to a life of distraction? That’s not a question with an easy answer. The solution, ultimately, must be a personal one. Each of us has to figure out what we can do to focus ourselves and channel our vast energy in order to make progress. What I have universally seen is that it has to start with recognition.
You have to know what distracts you, and why.
Below I’m sharing a list of what I consider to be the most common distractions in our society today. The goal of the list is to help you hold a mirror to yourself and ask—what is consuming my best time and energy? And what is keeping me from what I most want to pursue?
7 Everyday Distractions That Keep Us From Living Fully
I hope these resonate with you and inspire you to begin a more serious conversation (hopefully with a trusted friend) about how to pave a new path forward.
1. Indecision
Too often we get stuck in life because we fail to make hard choices that involve trade-offs. We want everything, everywhere, all at once (as the title of a recent movie puts it). But an attitude of indecisiveness paralyzes us from moving forward. We end up not making choices at all and not getting any of the upside of simply choosing a course with boldness.
2. Social Media Addiction
Any type of addiction is a huge distraction, but I’ll speak to the one I see the most and know the best. Like babies who use pacifiers for comfort, screens are the great big pacifiers that adults use to soothe, comfort, and distract themselves from anything that makes them uneasy, including the reality of life. Our addiction to screens distracts us from the real world of people and things that are essential to living a good life.
3. Being Consumed by Success
Living to impress others or trying to create an identity based on status is a big distraction. As humans, we’ll always care about what other people think, but it’s best to keep this circle small and focused on the people who know you best—who measure “success” across a broader dimension than simply achievement in one narrow slice of life.
4. Perfectionism
Some of us create a standard for ourselves that is so high we can never really call something finished. Although this seems like an audacious way to live, it is really a fearful one.
Perfectionism is driven by a fear of failure, of looking silly, of not being good enough—but where in life or nature is perfection a reasonable standard? We must accept our limitations and prioritize delivering what we can with what we have. That is all we can do, and it’s enough.
5. Materialism
One easy way to benchmark progress in your life is through the accumulation of wealth and material goods—right? There’s just one huge problem: Accumulating wealth and things is a pursuit that will slowly absorb everything else in your life. You’ll never feel you have enough, you won’t be able to stop accumulating, and it will almost certainly distract you from crafting real benchmarks of progress such as a life of purpose and connection to community.
6. Comparison
There will always be someone out there doing something more interesting than you, making more money than you, or seemingly having a better time. This is no great tragedy—unless you make it into one. Keeping up with the Joneses will only drive you away from gratitude for what you have. Finding that gratitude is the simplest and most profound way to improve your life.
7. Living in the Past or Future
To really live, it’s essential to stay engaged in the present moment. Living in regret about the past or worrying about the future will rob you of your ability to appreciate today. And what is life but a few thousand todays strung together into one big story? Although it’s good to reminisce, don’t let yourself be troubled by decisions you can no longer change. Although it’s good to plan, let the outcomes of tomorrow worry about themselves. Live in such a way that you’ll be able to
enjoy the journey.
