Just over 3 years ago, my wife and I decided together that our lives were too busy.

We desired more time for relationships, for savoring, and for intentionally pursuing the things that were most important to us. We sensed that certain areas of life would inevitably expand to fill all the time available, leaving us feeling chronically rushed.

So began a long journey of decluttering our lives of everything that wasn’t essential or deeply enjoyed. We cleared away physical clutter such as extra clothes, gadgets, and tools that we no longer needed. We cleared away mental clutter as well—expectations that had grown too big, unhelpful comparisons to others, and desires that distracted us from our true values.

The end result is not perfection, but a life we enjoy. We’ve taken huge strides toward the vision for our family we set out with.

We also made plenty of mistakes along the way.

As we tried to figure out the best path towards simpler lives, we learned much by trial and error. Some of these mistakes were the inevitable byproduct of learning what worked for our personalities, but some were dead ends.

If you’re embarking on your own journey towards a simpler life, I would encourage you not to be afraid of mistakes. A spirit of figuring it out as you go is exactly what you need.

Our 7 Biggest Simple Living Mistakes

Familiarizing yourself with the mistakes we made along the way may help you avoid some of them yourself. Or even better, recognize when you might be making your own errors, and quickly pivot in a more helpful direction.

1. Changing Too Much at Once

We’ve all seen the advice to start small, and we all think it doesn’t apply to us. But I’m officially a convert to the way of small, incremental changes. Making small changes and experiencing their effect is the best way to build momentum, and in my experience, keeping momentum on your side is the surest path to making a big change stick.

2. Trying to Create the Perfect, Air-Tight System

Simple living attracts people who want more control over their lives, so a natural tendency is to take this good desire too far. There were multiple times during our journey when we were weighed down by the desire to create a perfect system that would eliminate all clutter for good! Wisdom is learning to know when a plan is good enough for now.

3. Being Ruled by Your Rules

Simplicity can quickly get complicated when you add too many rules or enforce them too strictly. The goal isn’t some perfect version of your life where nothing goes wrong and nothing is out of place, but a lighter way of being that gives you more freedom to enjoy the journey.

4. Comparing Yourself to Others

There are many great blogs and resources online about how to live more simply. Some people have taken the lifestyle to amazing, even extreme lengths, making simplicity a defining part of their identity. I recommend you find your own way. Occasionally, look up for inspiration, but mostly stay focused on what’s best for you and your family.

5. Focusing on Aesthetics Over Function

Simple living and minimalism are two ideas with a lot of overlap. Minimalism, in particular, has an aesthetic component to its teaching that many people find attractive. There is a sparse beauty and elegance to having white walls, clean lines, and minimal decor. Be careful that this doesn’t become a distraction, as it has for me at times. Remember the original, deeper reasons that you began simplifying your life in the first place.

6. Attempting to Control Other People

Once you start making progress in simplifying your life, you’ll begin noticing the clutter of those around you. There’s a temptation to convert others or push them further along so you can enjoy the spillover benefits of a more serene environment. Be careful in this area. Change has to come from within, or it will potentially strain a relationship. This is a good opportunity to practice the inner work of simplifying by releasing your expectations of others.

7. Forgetting That Life Is to Be Enjoyed–Not Just Managed

My final tip to you, as you think about simplifying your life, is to remember that simplicity is just a tool. It’s not the goal of your life. The goal is to live life well, to enjoy it, and to be in alignment with your deepest values. If you let it, simple living can become an all-encompassing philosophy with rules added to every area of your life, but this is a mistake. Simple living is at its best when it’s just a simple set of practices that you’ve adopted to lighten your load and focus your efforts.