Recently, I had a reader write to me about not being good at finishing things.
A few examples of things they haven’t finished are:
- A course they bought
- A diet they want to do
- Going on all of the hikes they want to take in their area
I can relate! It can be hard to finish things—we get excited about something at the start, but our commitment wavers when we get busy or things get hard or boring.
So how do we get better at finishing things? We have to deepen into commitment and get support.
The Practice of Commitment
Before we get into the details, it’s important to note that commitment is a practice. It’s not something you either have or don’t have or that you’ll always suck at. You have to practice, develop trust in yourself, learn what works, and learn to bring in what’s needed for what you’re facing. Get better at commitment by practicing it regularly.
If you’d like to practice commitment, here’s what I suggest:
1. Make It Deeper
If you’re only half-committed, when things get busy, your commitment will fly out the door. Deepening the practice is a commitment—figure out why you really care about something, tell others about your intent, and practice showing up no matter what. It’s like the commitment of a parent to feed their children—there’s no question about it getting done.
2. Use Accountability and Consequences
Most people don’t want to create consequences for themselves, but when we’re not really showing up with commitment, we can use self-accountability to deepen our commitment. If you said you would have to get a pie in your face if you didn’t finish the course you bought by the end of the month, you’d probably finish it. If you had to give $100 to a political candidate you don’t like if you missed your diet two days in a row, you’d probably get more serious about the diet.
3. Get Support
Get a coach and find a community. It’s hard to persevere with something on your own. It’s easy to let yourself off the hook when things get busy, easy to beat yourself up about it, and easy to engage in the same repetitive patterns. A coach helps us to see the patterns and choose something different. A community helps us to feel supported and not so alone when things are tough.
As you deepen into the practice of being committed, you’ll notice that you’ll falter. You’ll want to give up, bow to distractions, or have a list of reasons why it’s OK to put it off. That’s totally OK—this isn’t about doing it perfectly—it’s about breaking free of habitual patterns.
So when you falter—don’t quit. Think of it as a part of the growth process. You’ll start, fail, learn, and try again, over and over again. As you do this, you may get discouraged, so it’s important to find support to keep going—get encouragement!
