I have experienced several bouts of stress and plenty of peace in my life. I’ve reflected on and written about these times publicly and in my own journaling. The conclusion I keep coming back to is that stress is more correlated with my inner state than what’s happening around me.
It’s easy to blame circumstances for feeling stressed because they are often what puts us over the edge. But then you have to ask yourself why they don’t always do so. What’s the difference between the days when the stress boils over and the days you can handle it?
As a parent of four young children, I test this theory daily. A great example is that, depending on our inner emotional states on a particular day, my wife and I will respond very differently to our kids’ behavior. If stress was always a result of external frustrations, we would nearly always feel stressed at the same time. However, we swap roles often, each of us seemingly taking turns being more impacted by our children’s less-than-ideal behavior.
Those situations tell me it’s more about what else is happening in our minds than what’s happening around us. Of course, the two are related and feed into each other, but it’s not so simple as passing the blame to whatever pushes you over the edge.
The good news is we have far more control over our experience of stress than we realize. Certain lifestyle habits and the mind consistently produce less stress, and when applied, we can enjoy more peace and less turmoil in our lives.
Like many things, you get out of it as much as you’re willing to put in. My suggestions for stress-free living are simple.
6 Habits of Stress-Free Living
1. Do What You Can
One of my biggest stressors is a sense that I’m falling behind or not making progress with things I need to get done. Even as a practicing minimalist, I still juggle quite a number of goals and responsibilities. One trick I’ve learned to reduce stress is to make progress on everything I’m working on, no matter how small. This ensures a constant sense of momentum, which keeps stress at bay.
2. Prioritize Rest for Your Body
Working yourself into the ground is a strategy that only works in desperate situations when something needs to get done—or else. But it’s suboptimal in the long run because the recovery period kills your momentum. It’s better to stay healthy and work at a sustainable pace. When I’m pushing my body to the limit, I feel that I’m operating in a mild flight-or-fight mode the whole time.
3. Process With a Wise Friend
I’m a big advocate of community and a critic of the individualism that has taken over our society. Too many people are lonely and trying to navigate the challenges and complexities of life on their own. Nothing helps me manage and reduce my stress more than talking things over with a friend. Saying things aloud to someone you trust helps put things into context and reminds you of what really matters.
4. Exercise at the First Physical Signs of Stress
The quickest stress reliever I know is exercise. When I feel even the slightest signs of stress creeping in, I go for a walk. When things are really pressing in, I make time for a run. Consistent exercise is an essential tool for living a relatively stress-free life. If you’re trying to manage stress without exercising, you’re missing out on one of the lowest-hanging fruits you can grab.
5. Find a Truth Bigger Than Your Worries
I can’t emphasize enough how foundational my faith is to all aspects of my life. Prayer is a practice that helps me manage stress, and the worldview I’ve inherited from my faith helps me to maintain a broader perspective on my life without getting too caught up in worries. My advice is to find something bigger than yourself to live for, something that will pull you through seasons of uncertainty or when life isn’t going your way. It’s been a huge key for me.
6. Readjust Your Schedule or Expectations
As a parent of four young children, I quickly learned that vacations were no longer the relaxing, pleasure-filled getaways I remembered. Kids are needy whether they are home or away. It wasn’t until I changed what I expected from a vacation (seeing it as an adventure instead of a relaxing retreat) and adjusted our schedule (lighter itinerary with more bathroom and snack breaks) that I began to enjoy them again. With creativity, nearly any area of life can be made more appealing and less stressful if you’re open to new ideas.