A common response to the question “How are you?” is, of course, “I’m fine.” Many times, however, behind this easy retort hide anxiety, stress, and struggle.

Christian life coach Darla Nelson aims to guide readers to greater authenticity and peace through her book, “I’m Fine. Really?: Moving From Stress and Anxiety to Peace and Calm.” She has more than a decade of coaching experience, and we asked for her insights into letting go of stress and finding more peace.

Life coach and author Darla Nelson. (Courtesy of Darla Nelson)

The Epoch Times: Tell us about your journey. What led you to become a life coach?

Darla Nelson: I became a life coach after years of helping people with their health and realizing what most were struggling with wasn’t food or exercise—it was stress, mindset, and how they spoke to themselves.

As a certified life and health coach, I began to see how the stories we tell ourselves shape our lives. My own journey through loss, grief, and growth showed me the importance of letting go of perfection and embracing peace. That’s where my heart for helping others began—especially women who say “I’m fine” when deep down they’re overwhelmed and longing for calm.

The Epoch Times: What inspired you to write your new book?

Ms. Nelson: For years, I heard clients say, “I’m fine,” while I could see the pain behind their smiles. I’ve said those same words myself.

The book was born from that realization—that “fine” has become the mask we hide behind. I wanted to create a book that blends story, faith, and practical tools to help readers remove that mask and rediscover peace. Each chapter offers reflection and journaling prompts so readers can pause and truly connect with what’s happening inside.

"I'm Fine. Really?: Moving From Stress and Anxiety to Peace and Calm" by Darla Nelson.

The Epoch Times: How has your faith informed the way you look at and handle stress?

Ms. Nelson: My faith has taught me that peace doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from being more of who God created us to be. When I’m stressed, I remind myself that I’m not meant to carry it all alone.

Scripture reminds me to “be still” and trust that God is working even when I can’t see it. My faith shifts me from control to surrender—and that’s where real calm begins.

The Epoch Times: In your coaching, what are you finding to be the biggest challenges your clients are struggling with, especially when it comes to stress?

Ms. Nelson: Many of my clients struggle with feeling like they’re not enough—whether as a mom, wife, leader, or friend. They’re caught in comparison, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. They push through the day trying to keep everyone else happy, but they lose themselves in the process.

Underneath it all is a longing for purpose and peace, not performance.

The Epoch Times: You refer to “I’m fine” as a mask that people wear to cover up their struggles. What is the cost of hiding behind such a mask?

Ms. Nelson: The cost is connection. When we say “I’m fine,” we close ourselves off from the people who care about us—and even from God. We stay in survival mode. The mask keeps us from healing because we can’t heal what we won’t face.

When we choose honesty over hiding, we create space for connection, grace, and growth.

The Epoch Times: What are some practical steps you’d recommend for someone who is dealing with chronic stress?

Ms. Nelson: Start small.

Pause and breathe: Even 60 seconds of deep breathing can calm the nervous system.

Journal daily: Write what you’re grateful for and what’s heavy on your heart.

Set boundaries: You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Move your body: Go for a walk, stretch, breathe fresh air.

Pray or meditate: Invite God into your day before the chaos begins.

Tiny consistent habits lead to peace, not grand gestures.

The Epoch Times: How are your stress levels these days, and what do you do to keep stress at bay?

Ms. Nelson: I’m more peaceful now than I’ve ever been, but that peace is something I choose daily. I start most mornings in prayer and journaling, and I take time to unplug, especially when I’m with family or my grandkids.

I’ve learned that slowing down actually helps me show up more fully—for my clients, my family, and myself. One of my best compliments is when someone says, “You are always so calm.”

The Epoch Times: What do you hope readers will glean from reading “I’m Fine. Really”?

Ms. Nelson: My hope is that readers will see themselves in these pages and realize they’re not alone. That they’ll find tools to help them move from a life of stress and anxious thoughts to one of peace, calm, and joy.

And most of all, that they’ll rediscover their God-given worth—not because of what they do, but because of who they are.