When I sit down to write, I often try to come up with something novel or interesting to say when it might be best to just write about what is true and useful. Such offerings might be best for building trust with my readers and hopefully adding some value to your day.
Why use flowery, abstract language when simple, direct words would suffice? Do we try to fancy things up because of a lack of confidence or fear of what others might think if we speak in simple terms?
In conversation, I’m prone to being indirect or wordy—especially when trying to make a point that my wife might disagree with. Instead of telling her how I feel, I beat around the bush or add endless disclaimers to what I’m trying to say. Most people would prefer if you just came out and said what you’re thinking—presuming that you can do it with love and grace.
If you’re like me and could use some improvement in this area, consider practicing the following tips in your regular, everyday communications.
1. Know What You Want to Say
If you don’t have a clear idea of what you want to say, wait until you have a firm conviction or a clarifying thought, then bring it forward with confidence.
2. Use Simple, Straightforward Language
Don’t overthink how to deliver your message—just pick the simplest words you know and say them. You don’t need to overindulge in background information or set up your point with nuance. Say what you need to say and clarify if there are any questions.
3. Limit Qualifying or Softening Words
Filler words such as “maybe,” “perhaps,” or “in my opinion” can be overused. It’s not that these are wrong, but they can water down your message. Such words can make you appear less confident.
4. Keep It Short and to the Point
When thinking about what you want to say, be direct. Like a good newspaper article starts with the most important facts followed by details, your communication can follow suit.
5. Reinforce With Body Language
If you’re going to be direct, ensure that your body language reflects the emotion you want to convey. To appear friendly, smile and look genuinely happy while having the conversation. (I hope you actually are!)
6. Be Assertive and Confident
Confident people put others at ease, so if you are going to be direct, do it with the kind of quiet self-assurance that draws people toward you.
Being direct doesn’t mean being harsh, it just means cutting out superfluous words and expressions you might be using. Being direct is a way to apply the art of simplicity to your communications.
Benefits of Direct Communication
Using direct communication:
- Lets people know where you stand. People will feel more comfortable when they learn that they can trust what you say and take your words at face value. They won’t need to read between the lines or worry that you’re hiding your true thoughts.
- Saves both you and your listener time. Some of my best colleagues in my working career have been people who knew how to cut to the chase and quickly deliver their thoughts. When I needed an opinion from them, I knew I could get it without getting tied up in a larger work conversation—this made me more likely to come back.
- Will more likely result in its intended impact. A message delivered in a short, confident style is more likely to be well-received.
- Allows for honesty. Good friends don’t need to beat around the bush; they trust each other to interpret each other’s words in the best light possible.
- Makes you feel confident. Sometimes, our actions have a direct influence on how we feel about ourselves. If we approach a subject or conversation like we’re afraid of offending the other person, we might feel uncertain and insecure. But if you approach that same conversation with loving frankness, you are likely to feel a greater degree of self-confidence.
Learning to speak directly is not a hack that allows you to trick others into giving you what you want. There is value in delivering your thoughts with an economy of words. Simplicity of speech may be an underrated skill in a world flooded with murky, half-baked opinions. I invite you to give it a try and experience the changes that occur in your life when you are more direct.