“Three Men and a Baby” is an unlikely comedy that ended up being the top-grossing film of 1987 because of its poignant themes. Despite its stereotypical caricature of bringing up babies, this light-hearted snipe at intentionally single-parent families argues that babies need not just mothers but fathers, too.

In the 100-minute gag that this film is, it might take as many as three bungling men to care for a baby. In real life, a caring father and mother will do just fine.

Sure, any couple won’t mind occasional help from friends or family, even the bungling kind. In its prankish, poignant fashion, the film celebrates babies and how life-transforming they can and should be. They’re unbelievably, often irritatingly, hard work, but they’re always worth it.

Discovering What’s Really Important

Struggling actor Jack Holden (Ted Danson) enjoys bachelorhood with apartment-mates architect Peter Mitchell (Tom Selleck) and cartoonist Michael Kellam (Steve Guttenberg).

What the three enjoy most, though, is partying and philandering, or so they think. All that changes when they find, abandoned on their doorstep in a snug basket, a baby named Mary (played in turn by twins Michelle and Lisa Blair).

She’s the fruit of a fling Jack had with struggling actress Sylvia (Nancy Travis). Mary threatens to turn the world of these three men upside down, as there’s no sign of the mother.

As the bachelors are compelled to care for Mary on their own, each man figures to pawn off baby duties to the next man—or woman. Soon, however, all three are wondering if they’re happier when caring for Mary.

Could a woman know that a man’s touch is indispensable to rearing, not just having, babies? It’s a woman who came up with this story. French screenwriter and director Coline Serreau, on whose 1985 film this one’s based, seems to have known what neuroscience took decades to demonstrate.

A Father’s Touch

A man’s touch can be almost as vital for a baby as a woman’s. Besides that, simply holding their baby transforms fathers almost as much as it does mothers.

Here, it takes three men to make that point, but they make it well. Unaware of how silly he sounds, Peter says of Mary: “She likes to be held. Babies like to be held.”

Babies demand attention. They have to be fed, cleaned, clothed, protected from self-harm, comforted, and put to sleep. Frequently. But here’s the thing: Every demand is a baby’s excuse to be embraced, cuddled, and caressed. It’s nearly impossible to do any of these things half-heartedly. Try it.

By their very existence, babies are saying that they need not just some of the love both parents can give for some of the time; they need all of it, all the time.

Babies demand extraordinary patience and understanding. Watching the men here, annoyed at what comes naturally to babies, it seems babies also demand forgiveness.

That’s the opportunity parents are offered—to become more humane when life threatens to tease the opposite out of them. They can either squander that chance or make the best of it.

The three bachelors loathe commitment. After a party, they’re shaking their heads in post-partum, er sorry, post-party depression: “So many women. So little time!”

Real Parenting

Flung into fatherhood, Jack says glibly, “I’m an actor; I can ‘do’ a father. What can be so difficult?” However, he discovers that fatherhood isn’t a character he can slip into and out of, becoming someone onstage but ceasing to be that someone in real life.

Funnily enough, fatherhood becomes him. His mother (Celeste Holm) wisely reminds him that parenting is a gift. It’s a chance to grow out of his seemingly protracted, self-preoccupied adolescence. She tells him, “Jack, you’ve always run away from responsibility. Now you have to turn and face it.”

Once, apparently done with diaper duty and everything that comes with it, Jack tells his buddies, “Guys like us shouldn’t be raising kids anyway. She’s better off with her mother.” However, his tenor and his tone bear about as much conviction as a baby refusing a bottle of warm milk.

Do these men become less masculine because Mary brings out their seemingly embarrassing paternal instincts? Quite the opposite. Watch a gaggle of girls gravitate toward the men, who are enjoying a day out with chubby Mary at the park. The girls mill around Mary, but their eyes linger on the men who hold her so protectively.

Remember Mrs. Merriweather in “Gone with the Wind”? Spying macho Rhett Butler, fussing over his adorable baby Bonnie, she sighs, “There must be a great deal of good in a man who could love a child so much.”

Check the Internet Movie Database website for plot summary, cast, reviews, and ratings. You can watch “Three Men and a Baby” on Prime Video, Disney+ and DVD.

These reflective articles may interest parents, caretakers, or educators of young adults, seeking great movies to watch together or recommend. They’re about films that, when viewed thoughtfully, nudge young people to be better versions of themselves.

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